Thoughts

Good Friday should actually be called Black Friday because Jesus died and everybody wears black to a funeral and Black Friday should actually be called Good Friday because you get all sorts of good deals

They say never settle but that's what the settlers did and they founded a country

Water under the fridge

Having a yard sale and is just pieces of turf on display

Most people use sick days backwards. They go to work when they're sick and they call out when they're healthy.

Everyone tells you that smoking will kill you. What they don't tell you is that it cures salmon.

Regret is mindless. The choice you didn't take you're presuming would have been better.